Persis Spencer Carling

Since no one commented on my last post, I know that no one will read this and I can therefore write whatever I want :)
This past month my grandma passed away. She was 91, so her death wasn't entirely a shock, but it was nonetheless heartbreaking.  I thought I was ready for her to go.  I thought that I would be happy for her when her time did come.  I wasn't prepared for how emotional I would be to have her gone.  She was always the spiritual one of the family, the one that had so much faith and love.  She wrote such faith filled letters to me while I served on my mission.  She was always sewing wonderful "made with love" gifts for me as a child. When I was young, she would give me $11 for my birthday..so I would still have $10 to spend after paying tithing.  She was angelic.
Over the last few years, however, I saw another side of my grandma that I hadn't seen in the 30+ years that i had known her.  I saw her quick wit. She would say things that would just floor me..and make me love her even more.  You see, I am not the most reverent person.  I tend to think that my ability to say something "snarky" to lesson the stress of a situation was the only gift I had been given.  Now, I wouldn't say this gift is a heavenly gift, just a personality gift.  However, over the past year or so, I have really learned that being "snarky" isn't a gift that a person would want.  Not many people understand someone that is "snarky."  In fact, quite the opposite is true.  Most people I come in contact with think that it is obnoxious and that I should change that side of me.

As I have gotten to know my grandma's "other side" I learned that she can be angelic and still have personality.  I finally learned where I acquired some of my personality from.  Now, the one of the few  people that actually understood me, is gone.  That breaks my heart in one way, and makes me happy in another way.  Happy because now I have an example of how to grow-up and be angelic and still have some personality.  It gives me hope that all angels in heaven aren't flying around singing and being ultra-nice.  Maybe, just maybe, some of those angels actually have personality, like my grandma.